Jim, you are truely my best friend and I could not do what I do without you. This post is going to be a bunch of rambling and may not run together very well, but I need to get theses thoughts out.
The last couple of weeks have been some of the hardest I have experienced (emotionally). Luckily the Lord has blessed me with Jim to help me get through it.
I have tried really hard to accept being here in Nevada. It has been a struggle. I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss all of my nieces and nephews and seeing all of there personalites and watching them grow up. A few weeks ago Nathan was on the phone waiting to talk to Jim. I had the phone up to my ear and I heard Nathan tell his cousins, "Hey guys, I'm talking to my buddy, Uncle Jim!"
It's also been a struggle being this far away from home when I hear that Suzanne is getting married. I so want to be there and be apart of the wedding preparations. I want to go shopping for wedding dresses with them and watch Suzanne with the excitment, the frustration, the nervousness, the joy and all the emotions that come with planning a wedding.
I mentioned to someone the other day that I missed Macey's grocery store. Yes, that is another struggle for me. I haven't been able to find one store that ranks with Macey's. The atmosphere in Macey's is credited to all of the happy employees.
I miss my house. My house wasn't big and fancy like most, but it was mine. It fit our family. And it had the long front porch that I always wanted.
I miss my kids' friends. They had such good friends and it was hard to seperate them.
I guess one good thing about the move is that my girls have had more time to play together. They don't have the friends here to go play with outside.
I miss my ward in Hyrum. I know the Lord put us in that ward when he did because I needed the people of the ward during the time we were there. You guys took care of me. Thank you. I miss and love you all.
There are many other things I miss and as I think about everything it eats at me and gets me so frustrated. I want to be happy here. I guess I'm not trying hard enough. I told Jim a week ago. I'm useless. I do nothing. I sit here everyday all day waiting for the days to pass until I can load up the boxes that are still packed and move back to my house in Hyrum.
So with all of these frustrations, this is where I am thankful to have Jim. A few weeks ago he spent several days in Colorado with work. While he was gone I got very upset and frustrated with being here. I let him know this over the phone. When I went to pick him up at the airport a few days later I was still upset. I didn't even want to talk to him because in my mind it was his fault that we were here in Nevada. I now know why the Lord puts the people in our lives that he does. Jim didn't even say one word and I couldn't stay frustrated very long. Like I said at the beginning, I couldn't do what I do without him. Just having Jim back from his trip made things better.
As this week has went on I have again expressed my frustrations to Jim. I have said things to him that would hurt him, but all he does is turn to me and say, "What can I do to make things better for you?" I love this man. He has so much on his plate with work and with dealing with a crazy wife. He amazes me with how he can do it all. After all of the stress he deals with at work he still comes home and picks up all the pieces that I have dropped. The last few days my little one has been really sick. Jim has been so willing to help. He took an extra hour at lunch so he could give me a break with her. Yesterday I took her to the doctor and he took Lexie with him to work so I wouldn't have to worry about her while I was comforting Samantha. There are so many other things he does for me, yes, he even cleans the toilets because I figure I will just clean them when we move back.
So, thanks Jim, thanks for helping me through this time. Thanks for helping me find the comfort to deal with my emotions and feelings. Thanks for being my best friend and letting me yell at you and complain to you and in return you still love me. I love you.