A Calling....

Who knew having some kind of responsibility (outside of the home) could make me feel accomplished and fulfilled!

We have been back in our Hyrum ward for just over a year. Since that time I have had 3 different callings that have required some responsibility. These callings have gotten me involved with other people. Two of the three have gotten me out of the house on days other than Sunday. I love feeling the responsibility. I Love actually being able to use my mind and my talents. I Love being involved!

While we lived in Carson City I had two callings that didn't require much, but I did try to do more. I remember people saying that they didn't want to bother me with a calling because my husband was gone all the time and I had 4 kids. I probably couldn't handle anything else. I seriously wished I had a calling that kept me busy at that time.

I remember getting back from girls camp this last summer with the Hyrum girls and feeling so good. I felt a part of something and that I was needed. I LOVED that feeling.

My first calling back in the Hyrum ward was the Primary Chorister. MY MOST FAVORITE CALLING! The funny thing is, they called me to that before our records had even come back to Hyrum. After 4 months in Primary I was called as the 2nd Counselor in Young Woman's. Yes, I did get to go to Girls' Camp and do a lot of other fun activites with the Beehives (and Brindley)! But that calling was short lived too. After 6 months in Young Woman's, I was called back to the Primary as the 1st Counselor. I am still adjusting to this new calling since the only thing I have done in Primary before is Chorister (3 times) and teaching sharing time twice a month. I was in the Nursery in Carson and LOVED that, but I have never been a teacher or in the Primary Pres. before til now. 

Who knew a calling could make you feel of worth....and make my responsibilities at home more worth while.

2012 is gone....

So where do I begin about a year like this last year......
I am really glad to see it go.
2012 was a Great year for our family, but a really hard year for me personally.
Our family experienced such joy and excitement as we got back into our home that we bought almost 6 years ago. All of the girls have been happier than I have ever seen them. I didn't realize how much stress Brindley and Karissa were experiencing in the previous couple years until I saw how happy they were to be back in Hyrum. Back with their friends. Also to have their Dad home every night and relieved of the stress that came to our whole family with Jim's past job. We laugh so much sitting around the dinner table. I LOVE sitting there with our whole family and the fun we have.

I have been blessed to do some daycare since the beginning of 2012. I honestly mean it when I say BLESSED. In the past I have struggled watching other peoples kids. I haven't had the patience with them and just didn't like it. Before we even moved back to Hyrum, I felt a change in me. I knew I was going to be able to do it and I wanted to do it. Still to this day I want to do it and I have the patience that I need! I know Heavenly Father has blessed me with the desire and the patience because we need the income. And this way I am still home everyday when my girls get home from school. I also have been blessed to not have any daycare kids on Fridays. So I use Friday's as Sam's day! We go shopping and to lunch but not before we spend time cuddling in bed! One of the things I find ironic about the kids that come to my house is that they are all boys until recently, I do have a 9 month old girl. Other than her, there are 4 boys that come. It totally makes me smile. These boys have been awesome to watch. One of them has become Sam's new best friend.

This last year I have also really enjoyed being a mom. I have found joy in it. I cry thinking about it because I am so lucky to have the girls I have! I Love each of them for different things because they are all so different. I think our previous years in Carson helped my girls and I become friends because we needed each other. This last year I have been able to watch my girls find joy in things they are doing and it brings overwhelming joy to me. I have felt a love for them that has been so different than before. How did I get so lucky?

My personal struggles have really put a damper on 2012 for me. If it wasn't for my girls and Jim I have no clue where I would be. I had a few things happen to me in 2012 that really knocked me down with my self-esteem. I have never been so hurt in my whole life. Obviously I am still struggling with stuff because I am sharing my feelings about it. I used to think that I thought about things to much before, now I REALLY think about things and what they could mean. From people's gestures towards me or anything that is said to me by others. I internalize EVERYTHING! I hate that. I hate that I can't let things go. I hate that I can't move on after being cut. I hate that I am not the outgoing carefree person I was when I graduated high school. Now I am scared to say anything because I worry what others will think. I'm perfectly fine "hiding" out at home and not going to any gatherings of any kind. I know at home I have the Love and Support from my kiddos and Jim. And to me, they are the #1 thing in my life. They are what I should be concerned about and not what others think.....Wish I could just make myself do that now.

So here's to leaving parts of 2012 in the past and celebrating 2013. Here's to being who I am and accepting myself for who I am and being ok with it! Here's to counting my blessings and being grateful for what I have been blessed with. Here's to making 2013 GREAT!

Click here to see Karissa's Wellsville Mile!
Click here to see Back Home!
Click here to see She's 12!

It's quiet....for a minute...

Ok, I have been thinking that I needed to blog about some issues that I have been dealing with. I have thought about them for a few days and now I feel better about it! After talking with a friend (aka my therapist :)) I realized that those times when you are so upset over something that you can't even function, then you let a day or two pass and things seem better even though nothing changed....Well, it hit me that those times that I start to feel better is when "My burdens are being carried for me".  I am being comforted by the Holy Ghost. This brings tears to my eyes. Just another testament of the Atonement and how the Savior helps us and bares our burdens for us.

Sam is asleep at the moment and the other girls are all off with friends. So quiet right now!

Friday's have been Sam and I's day. We usually spend it cuddling in bed watching TV til about 11:00 am. Well, today I decided we were going to do something different. We got up and went to a Zumba class together. Yes, I took my 3 year old...put that shaky hip scarf thing on her and WE shook it!! For an hour we tried to make our feet move like the lady on the stage. I didn't care what I looked like! I had my buddy with me and we had fun! Can't wait til next week!

I went to a Dr. last week to get established with one after being gone from the Valley for a few years. I had an OB before hand and he wasn't seeing patients that weren't pregnant, so I had to go somewhere else. Anyway, I got my thyroid level checked again. He upped my meds and I felt a difference within 2 days! I am so glad that I can be helped and I am not stuck being tired all the time!

I am really feeling blessed the last few days. I was really struggling the first of the week. As the week went on I had random friends just doing things or bringing things to me that I needed, but hadn't asked them for. It was a good reminder that I am not alone and that there are good people that actually care about me. Their little acts of service helped me more than they will ever know!

Well, Sam's awake now...guess my quiet time is over.

New Posts of Past

I have been trying to catch up a few things on my blog. Even though I am just blogging about them now, I had them publish back around the time they happened. Click on them if you are interested in seeing any of them.

Christmas
Sam's Birthday
Same Home...New Home
Easter

I LOVE my MAN!

I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Jim. He is always there to help me finish or do what ever I need to do.

This last week was pretty crazy....pretty much like any week though.

I had started dresses/skirts for my girls to wear to Jim's brother's wedding. Jim finished them for me by doing all the elastic in them.

I started a potato salad for the wedding luncheon. Jim finished it...by pretty much doing all of it!!

I mentioned the kids needed baths before the wedding. Jim got them bathed.

Before I knew it, ALL the dishes were done.... and not by me or the girls. Once again, Jim!

I started some mini cheesecakes for the luncheon also...guess who finished them.

He also ironed his own clothes, took his suites in to be cleaned, set a tv up in the kitchen so I could watch the olympics, fed the kids along with the cousins, fed me, ran grocery errands, gave himself a haircut, bought me a dr. pepper :), along with many other things.....Plus he was at work all day too!

I don't know what I did to deserve Jim, but I am so thankful I have him.

A few months ago I was stressing about stuff to the point that I was making myself sick. I was really upset over it and mainly because there was nothing I personally could do to make it better. I had taken the kids to the local small zoo. As I was walking along with so many thing weighing heavily on my mind, I was pretty much slapped in the face with the overwhelming thought of, "You are not doing this alone. You have Jim and you will do this and get through this together." As soon as I realized what I was being told, the stress was so much easier to handle.

Thank you Jim for being my rock and supporting me in all my craziness! Thank You for choosing me.

Playing with Pictures

I Love to take Pictures of my girls....then I spend WAYYYY to much time editing and playing with different colors. For family night I had the girls go create an outfit. I tried to not choose what they put on, but I did have to guide them a little. We then went out back in the field where they had just bailed the hay into HUGE bails. I then had fun with the camera and my girls. Here are a few that I have been playing with. There are so many fun ones to edit that it may take a month!